Gratitude. Even as I write it, something in my sinful nature cringes. Gratitude implies need. It requires admitting that I depend on others - on God. Being thankful can make me wince, because it reminds me I am not an island. Thankfulness scares me, because it is the neighbor of indebtedness.
And that's how the world works, most of the time. Somebody does something nice for you - you owe them. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. There's always a tally. Everybody's keeping score. And we transfer these ideas about how our broken world works onto our image of God, like some cosmic psychotherapy session gone wrong.
Think about it. How do you react when given a gift? Do you awkwardly brush past the thank-you, hoping the giver won't hold the gift against you?
Do you begin a relationship of indebtedness, trying constantly to earn a gift you have already been given?
There is a sense of guilt in receiving good things. If only he knew to whom he was giving; he would snatch this gift back in a second. Our sins claw at our consciences, and we feel unworthy to receive. How many times has a thank-you left your lips, immediately followed by, "I owe you one?"
But this twisted giving, this receiving tinged by guilt and indebtedness; this is not in the nature of the Father. He is not a miser. Nor is He a benevolent, detached grandfather who gives out of excess, without a second thought. God's gift of forgiveness comes at a price. He gives it to us freely, because Christ has paid that price. Through the redemptive sacrifice of Christ, God redefines the word "gift." As His children, we are strong not because of how little we need, but because of the strength of our Giver.
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